Two Timers
by Serpent Tailed Angel
Summary: Erza just wanted a nice romantic evening or two to help her make up her mind about whether she liked Jellal or Simon, but sometimes things just don't go as planned. Oneshot where Jellal wasn't brainwashed. Erza/Jellal Erza/Simon and Lisanna/Natsu


**STA**: Just for the record, I do not support Natsu/Lisanna. Lisanna shoud be dead, but since this is already AU I've decided she didn't die in this theoretical timeline and Natsu was spending time with her instead of saving Lucy, which is why she isn't at the beach with everyone. Keep that in mind while you enjoy this. Lucy is a slave. You know, I don't really like the name for Natsu/Lucy. I usually see it written NaLu. I like it better when you really combine the names, like Jerza. Though Lutsu sounds kind of dumb, and Natsy... I guess NaLu is acceptable...

* * *

Erza would never know if Elfman had deliberately aimed for Natsu's face or if Natsu had just missed the beach ball, but she was in a bad enough mood to beat both of them for making a scene.

This was the first time in months that she'd been able to afford a nice vacation, but Jellal had to go and get sick, and has insisted Simon be the one who stayed to help him. She'd spent a whole week hunting down the perfect seductive swimsuit only for both her suitors to stay home.

At least she was getting plenty of free drinks. People offered her those less often when those two were hovering around her.

"Erza, do you think you might have had enough?" Lisanna asked. "You're not usually so violent with Elf-nii."

"I'm good." Erza slurred. "It's not like I planned this trip with romantic evenings in mind."

"We're here for a week. Jellal's fever was going down when we left." Though they both knew that meant nothing where Jellal was concerned. "Or were you hoping to spend this time with Simon?"

Erza thought about it. On the one hand, Simon was pretty tame and considerate. And healthy! Then again, Jellal had a nice jaw, and when he wasn't sick he did have a bit more of a wild streak, which was sort of fun…

"Either. I don't have to make up my mind yet. Not until one of them does something to really distinguish themselves at least. We all share funds anyway so it's not like I'm playing them. Nothing's official yet."

Lisanna laughed. "That must be why Jellal held Simon back. You make it hard for those two to be friends."

That possibility hadn't occurred to her. If Jellal had gone with the initial offer to have Shou stay while he recovered then she could have spent yesterday evening in the casino with Simon, laughing at how bad his games were and being praised when she won. Maybe _they'd_ be playing in the water with that dumb beach while Jellal was still sick in bed.

That should be a point off for Jellal, but he'd been weaker since the revolt. She couldn't blame him for damage the priests had done while torturing him. As it was she and Simon both had fake eyes. When Porlyusica had been unable to repair the immune system that days of starvation and infected lash wounds had destroyed Erza had offered to continue wearing her eye patch, but Jellal had insisted that she looked cuter with depth perception. Simon, as a show of their now disintegrating friendship, hadn't let the old woman touch his jaw. A shame, really, but it _had_ made Jellal feel a little better.

Erza wondered if weighing the two really did have anything to do with their fighting, but the a forth cute blond guy who didn't realize how high up her face was came up with a spare drink meant for a buddy who'd wandered off.

"I'm a little thirsty, too." Lisanna said, envy leaking into her voice. To her surprise, the boy went to order a third drink.

"I'll have Cana's alcohol resistance by the time we leave the resort." Erza declared.

"Never." Lisanna laughed, pleased to have finally gotten the same sort of attention has her better endowed friend. "Be careful, though. Mira-nee's not going to go easy on you just because you're drunk."

She hadn't thought of that…

"Quick, untie your bikini strap and roll over!" Lisanna said, doing just that. "If we can get this guy to treat us to dinner we can't feel bad about playing a boy who tries to pick up two girls at once, can we?"

Erza followed Lisanna's example, but couldn't help but imagine Jellal and Simon having a similar conversation behind her back.

Wait… but they were always fighting, weren't they? Erza accepted the cute blond's drink without any worries on her mind.

"Are you girls alone?" The boy asked.

"My brother and sister are off somewhere." Lisanna confessed. No one would figure that the giant a hundred yards away was such a cute young girl's brother, and if she forgot to mention inviting Natsu… oops. Must have been the alcohol.

"I've got a nice big room, you know." The boy said. "My hotel's right on the shore. You wanna hang out there?"

"Oh, just a minute. We need to finish on this side."

They hadn't been sunbathing, but the boy didn't know and seemed to accept this answer. He was now looking even lower that their chests, Lisanna noticed, and he didn't look too drunk either. She took a light sip of her beer and resolved to stay sober for both hers and Erza's sakes.

-o-

"Are you sure you're up to this?"

"I don't have a temperature anymore." Not much of one at least. "I can rest on the train too. Erza was looking forward to this trip. With both of us gone she's probably throwing a fit."

"Yeah."

Jellal glanced up from his suitcase to see if Simon was going to say anything else, but the larger man didn't say a word about his insisting they both stay. It would be breaking their pact to complain about it anyways.

"You packed fast." Jellal said for the sake of conversation.

"I was already packed. I just pulled a change of clothes out, since we'll be there one less day."

"Oh…"

"Since Shou was planning to stay."

"Right."

Shou and Milianna changed sides on a weekly basis. Since he hadn't taken him on the S-class job he'd finished just before falling ill they'd both been rooting for Simon. Nothing was depressing like knowing that your friend was offering to nurse you back to health just so your crush would end up with someone else.

Simon carried both bags, so Jellal took care of train tickets and lunch. Despite everything Simon had taken care of him, so he resisted the temptation to buy a meal he knew Simon didn't like. The less time they spent fighting the more time they could spend… what? Pretending they didn't spend half their time seeing who could be the least passive aggressive without invoking Erza's wrath?

"Thanks." Simon muttered when Jellal handed him the take-out curry. Why Simon liked spicy food was beyond him, but temperature or not he still felt dizzy. He didn't want to upset Simon, even with a petty argument over good tastes, and run the risk of being abandon when his fever might come back.

"We should be there in time for dinner." Jellal told him. "Do you have the resort tickets?"

"They're in my bag."

There was nothing else Jellal could think to say, so he settled for poking at his soup and watching as they pulled out of the station.

"Is your stomach still bothering you?" Simon asked when Jellal continued to watch out the window for a little too long.

Jellal looked down and realized his soup still existed. "No." To prove it he downed the broth. It wasn't warm enough to still taste good, but that also meant he didn't have to scald himself to keep Simon from making him turn back. He wasn't that queasy. Really!

"If you're still sick-"

"I'm fine."

"I won't go without you." Simon promised. "There's no reason to push yourself."

Jellal turned to look out the window again, but he could feel Simon's eyes on him. Eye_s_. Him and Erza had both gotten fake eyes. Shou and Milianna and Wally had all been fine. He was the only one who still had some cumbersome problem. It wasn't like Simon's jaw kept him in bed for weeks at a time.

"Jellal?"

"I'm fine."

"If you-"

"I'm taking a nap." Jellal declared, flopping over on the seat and shutting his eyes, hoping Simon wouldn't protest if he fell asleep fast enough.

"I'm serious."

"Wake me when we get there."

-o-

Lisanna had been careful to keep Erza hydrated after arranging their date. The last thing they needed was for her to be hung-over. Still, there was only so much water could do.

"I have a headache." Erza whispered. "Lis, tell me I didn't really flash someone."

"You did." Lisanna told her. "Natsu hit you with the beach ball and you tried to chase after him. I wouldn't have a boyfriend of a free meal if you'd caught him. As it is, I think he'll treat us to desert too."

"I'm starting to have second thoughts."

"We _ordered_. It's fess up now, get the meal and bail, or give him _what he wants_."

Erza glanced over at the boy… Jason? Jacob? James? Whatever his name was, anyone who would try to butter up two girls with drinks and a fancy restaurant _and_ hit on their waitress while doing it couldn't want anything good. If she was going to look like a bitch anyway she may as well be a well fed bitch.

"He really saw me topless?"

"Me too. I had to get up to grab you."

"I… I'm sorry."

"It's alright. It was my dumb idea." Lisanna assured her. Still, she couldn't help but blush. "Good choice of meals. There's no real point in doing this if you pick something cheap, but at a place like this he probably wouldn't pay for anything expensive."

Erza just nodded. She was the one who got more attention, but she knew Lisanna had taken advantage of hormone driven boys before. Her love triangle had formed its own special rules-mostly agreed upon by the boys behind her back. Dealing with boys outside of it was something Erza didn't have much experience with, unless you wanted to count the books Levy gave her. In fact, other boys seemed to only be able to get within twenty feet of her when both her room mates were gone.

Speaking of gone…

"Did the others get back to our hotel? Where are we?"

"We're at our hotel. The resort covers this whole stretch of beach, remember? It's the only one around. The boys are still at the beach. Milianna tied them up. They thought it would be fun to try and escape the tide." She managed to say it with the sort of straight face one could only have when trying their hardest not to moan at their boyfriend's stupidity. "Mira's at the casino, losing our rent."

"S'her fault for crashing our vacation in the first place." Erza said, but she couldn't help but smile. Lisanna was a little younger than her, but since Shou and Milianna usually liked to go off on their own it was nice to have another girl around to get along with.

"Just a heads up, it sounds like he's ordered wine." Lisanna said, though to Erza it sounded like he was getting the waitress's address. "If you drink both or ours while he's not looking then I promise to make sure you don't do anything you regret."

"I already flashed him."

"I exposed myself to keep you from running across the beach topless. Please, Erza. You just have to drink two glasses. I'll mention this to-" The waitress walked away and Lisanna turned to giggle at a bad joke the boy cracked. Erza followed her example and waited for a few minutes before Lisanna managed to get a chance to whisper "I'll mention this to Jellal and Simon. If you've got other boys treating you…"

"Then they'll have to try and outshine more than just each other. Fine. It'll make him more tolerable anyway. Just don't let me into his room. When the drinks come, I'll down yours while he's not looking."

-o-

The room was empty when they got there, but Shou's things were spread across one of the beds so "I guess we're sharing the other bed." Though personally Jellal thought Simon was too large for anyone to share a bed with.

"Someone enjoyed having a room to themself." Simon noted.

Neither said anything for a moment while they tried to remember what that was like. The house the six of them had managed to scrape together enough money for only had three bedrooms, and the place they'd rented before that had been smaller. None of them had had their own bedroom since before they'd been taken to the tower.

"So where are they?" Jellal asked.

"Spa, beach, casino, or amusement park. Take your pick."

Jellal sighed. Just thinking of looking for them made him dizzy all over again. That large bed looked nice…

"Let's go eat. They should be back by then. I saw a restaurant downstairs."

But the bed… "Yeah. Let's go."

He couldn't tell if Simon had just given up on asking or genuinely thought he was fine, but either way Jellal was grateful not to be asked about his condition again. He was far enough from fine that he didn't want to get himself worked up arguing over it.

The restaurant on the bottom floor of their hotel was the sort of dimly lit place where you could easily order a meal half the size of what you'd get at a regular place, and twice the cost before you considered the size difference. Jellal was about to suggest they eat somewhere in the nearby town when Simon grabbed his shoulder and pointed to the far end of the room.

"May I help you?" a waitress asked.

"We're just getting a friend." Simon assured her, dragging Jellal to Erza's table.

Jellal didn't even think to protest. That was there agreement, after all. _We're friends, so we give one another a fair chance. Anyone else who tries to take Erza from us…_

Erza laughed a little too loudly at something the blond man said, and Jellal felt his blood boil. That… that _ass_ was getting Erza drunk!

"Hey, sis, we need to go." Jellal said automatically as they reached their table.

Lisanna, who suddenly looked a lot less like she'd had a few and more like she was trying her hardest not to laugh, failed when Erza looked up at him confused and said "I'm not your sister. Milianna's your… wait… nope. Never mind."

"Lisanna, what are you doing?" Simon demanded, choosing to argue with the one who could clearly still think straight. "If Natsu were here-"

"Relax. It's vacation. We're just having fun." Judging by the two different mischievous grins Lisanna and the blond gave, they had different ideas of fun.

"Well, you can have your fun." Jellal said, wondering if his cheeks were burning out of anger or if he really hadn't been up for the trip. "Erza, let's go."

"We're just having fun." Erza mimicked.

"Do any of you even know each other's names?"

"He's Lisanna." Erza proudly pointed just to the right of the correct girl.

"He's Jeremiah." Lisanna added, trying again not to laugh. "These" she gestured to Simon and Jellal "Are my friends roommates, though since _they're_ not the ones paying for the trip…"

"Oh, I knew it began with a J. Hey, Jellal, his name sounds like yours…" Erza paused. "Uh… Jellal? You look kind of still sick."

"I'm fine." Jellal lied. It was a shame Erza didn't have a twin. Seeing two of her at once was kind of hot.

Speaking of hot…

Simon could only sigh when Jellal's legs gave out beneath him, reaching out to catch him before he hit the ground. He felt warmer than he had that morning for sure. At least the stubborn stupidity of one of her potential love interests brought Erza out of her drunken stupor. "Damn. Sorry, Lis, you're gonna havta have fun without me. I gotta help carry him to bed now."

"It's alright." Lisanna assured her. Her wine glass was almost empty, so she could probably manage on her own…

"Looked like the big one could have managed without her help." Jeremiah commented once they were gone.

"Maybe." Lisanna admitted. "Jellal's just… protective. He probably does think of her a bit as a sister. They grew up together, you see." In fact, it was a little creepy that both boys competing for Erza's affection were people she'd known since childhood. "He'll be less likely to get up again before he's recovered if he isn't worrying about her."

"So was the large one _your_ brother, then?" Jeremiah joked.

"Oh, no. Elfman's a little shorter than that." Lisanna assured him. Simon did look an inch or so taller, after all.

-o-

"That wine was 30,000 jewels?"

"Apparently his dad owns some big company. Even still, I felt so bad when I found out that I ended up spending the evening with him-on the roof! Not in his room. I even felt like I needed to give him a kiss when we split up. I wouldn't let him take me to my room, though. Elf-nii and Natsu's room is on a different floor since Mira-nee got or rooms last minute, but she can be pretty protective herself. I need a way to explain this to Natsu without sounding like I'm a user _or_ cheating on him."

"Or lying?" Erza deadpanned. "I still can't believe you talked me into that. When Milia and Shou and Wally got back they were all scolding Jellal for being up while he was sick, but the second he demanded to know what I'd been doing they all got on my case instead. I'm supposed to be the role model."

"Messing up now and then is healthy." Lisanna told her. "And I say you should show up for a second date so I don't have to face the consequences of my mess up alone."

"Did you _see_ how up in arms those two got? Of course I'm going! They need to know I'm not waiting forever."

"Um… you're the one taking your time picking one of them." Lisanna reminded her.

"And I can hear you." Jellal added.

Erza yelped and looked to the adjacent balcony. "Get back to bed! You need to rest!"

"I need fresh air too. How much did these rooms cost? You got an ocean view and everything."

"A-a lot." Erza admitted. The plan had been to switch who was in which room on what day. She'd set up a whole chart so that she'd have a night with Jellal and a night with Simon, but when they got there Shou declared a boys and girls room so he'd get his own room and another plan for potential romance had been crushed. "But that has nothing to do with this. Lisanna came over so we can discuss _girl_ things. We'll be continuing our discussion inside."

Erza grabbed Lisanna and slid open the glass door to hers and Milianna's room when Jellal called out "Wait! Erza, if me or Simon had a date with you, you'd have no reason to see that guy again, right?"

Erza paused and thought about it for a moment before telling him "I'll be on the beach. Let Simon know to meet me and do something for lunch. _You_ come up with dinner plans." She'd rather have the more formal meal with the boy who actually wore shirts. "You'd better be rested by then. I don't want to have to leave after ordering another meal because you overexerted yourself."

"Of course." Jellal laughed and went back to his room so they could discuss their girl things out on the balcony.

-o-

Why hadn't he packed any nice clothes? Sure, he liked to dress nice as it was, but for a date it seemed like he ought to put on something better than normal.

"I took her board walking. She wore her bikini. Your jacket is fine." Simon told him. Was that reverse psychology or honest help? "In fact, it may be too much. You're not taking her anywhere you'd need a reservation, are you?

"No." Just a restaurant that all the hotel staff he'd pestered had recommended. "I should just wear a shirt then? My hair's a mess…"

"It always is." Shou pointed out.

"So what if I brushed it, just this once?"

"You don't _brush_ it?" Simon balked.

"Or… no… then would it look like I'm trying too hard?"

"It's not _that_ hard to brush your hair." Simon insisted.

Ignoring this, Jellal shrugged off his jacket. "Why did I have to go and ask her to-"

There was a knock on the door. Everyone froze. It came again and Shou, who now remembered that he wasn't the one who had a date to be nervous about, went and let Erza in.

"How's this?" Erza asked as she stepped inside, flashing a chainmail bikini. When only Shou laughed she re-quipped to a blouse and skirt. "Mira said a violent girl like me doesn't look good in regular clothes. She said I look like I'm not just trying to fit in when I wear armor."

Jellal tried to imagine Erza always wearing armor, and laughed.

"Well, sure, my magic does deal with it, but-"

"But that's the pot calling the kettle black." Jellal said before Erza could get too flustered. "And a bikini _isn't_ armor, no matter what it's made out of."

"It protects my ass…ets ." There's been no way to save that sentence. Erza just blushed and carried on. "So where are we going?"

"Just into town." Jellal told her. It was taking all of his self-control to maintain a calm appearance. If he got sick while he was out should he blame it on his finally vanished fever or admit it was nerves? "That's a nice outfit, by the way. Mira doesn't know what she's talking about."

"Thanks." Erza grabbed him by the arms and led him towards the door. "You should just wear a shirt more often. It's nice to see you showing those muscles for once."

Jellal could hear Shou laughing as the door shut behind him.

"Sorry." Erza whispered. "Simon kept flaunting his size earlier. That was meant more for him."

"It's okay. Shou will forget about it in a few… months."

"Sorry."

"Don't worry about it." Jellal insisted. "Um… about that guy…"

"Jacob?"

"Jerermiah."

"I knew it was something like that." Erza muttered. "What about him?"

"Well… that's what I was wondering."

"He's just some guy who thought he could get lucky with a girl who was drinking a little too much. There were a few others like him… and a brunet too, I think." Erza stopped in the hotel lobby to try and recall what had happened once the booze took affect, and Jellal walked right into her.

"S-sorry. You weren't really… in to him?"

"I think you missed the part where I agreed to see him again to make you and Simon jealous. You know, when you interrupted out conversation? He was just some guy who bought me a drink. Lisanna was staying sober to make sure nothing got out of hand. When he tried to loosen her up to she decided we should get him to treat us to dinner as punishment for trying to score two girls at once."

"You're dating your second boy today." Jellal noted. "Want to pay for dinner."

"_I'm_ paying for your very expensive ocean view room. _You_ haven't even told me where we're eating."

"Fair enough. Follow me."

* * *

**STA**: The original plan had this beginning with this odd line about remembering a song in order to remember what happened, then the revolt in the tower of heaven, and Erza was going to find Jellal but he'd be really sick. Then this would happen except there was also supposed to be a scene in the restaurant during which the song would play and Erza would remember the actuall events from the manga, and she'd tell Jellal. Then the next chapter would be the beach again but Jellal was going to be crppled instead of ill. Then there was going to be a chapter where it turned out that in the orginal time line Jellal and Erza stumbled across Star Memory and Erza used it to make it so Jellal being brainwashed never happened but Jellal still felt guilty so he added that he'd still suffer some sort of misfortune, and every time Erza remembered the original time line it would reset and whatever was wrong with Jellal would be worse than before and then there was going to be another chapter of alternate timeline where Jellal's condition was too bad for him to go to the beach period, and then the final chapter had Erza finding him dead after the revolt (still not brainwashed) Jellal picked the song that would trigger Erza's memories. It was supposed to really remind him of their relationship.

Anyway, I kind of killed Jellal at the start of my last fanfic, and had his ghost getting to learn that Erza moved on in the little clip I posted recently, and also this was just really fun to write, right up until the point where I stopped. It got kind of borring there, so I stopped. It's just a lengthy fluff one shot now. Bummer, too. I made a song and everything.

Actaully, I think I'lm gonna post the lyrics. Just cuzz.

_Once Upon A Time_:

Once upon a time  
There was a girl out of her mind  
But she was so enthralled, so enthralled  
With that charming boy

One upon a time  
There was a boy out of his mind  
But he was so enthralled, so enthralled  
With that special girl

They look into each-other's eyes and see their private world  
Of happy lies and butterflies and hopes as bright as pearls  
One day we'll run away from here, I promise you real soon  
We'll fly away together on my magic witch's broom

Once upon a time  
There was a lady out of her mind  
For she was so absorbed, so absorbed  
With that crazy man

Once upon a time  
There was a man out of his mind  
For he was so absorbed, so absorbed  
With that poor woman

They look into each-other's eyes and see their ruined world  
A love that has been compromised since their lives came unfurled  
They have grown farther apart now with every passing year  
Yet it feels like their hearts will stop whenever they get near

Once upon a time  
There was a lady out of her mind  
And she so in love, so in love  
With-

Once upon a time  
There was a man out of his mind  
And he was so in love, so in love  
So in love, so in love

No matter where they go they stay in one another's hearts  
As fate conspires to keep the two of them far apart

Once upon a time  
Two young loves out of their minds  
And like a fairy tale, a fairy tail  
The two will dream each night  
Of their happy lies and butterflies  
And when they meet again, they again  
Their darkness will divide

No matter what they do the two are haunted by their past  
The tragedy dividing them they know will always last  
They see one another now staring at them from afar  
But cannot be together for the last time left a scar


End file.
